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Showing posts with label 3d. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 3d. Show all posts

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Ninja Assassizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ninja Assassin slipped its way onto DVD last month. It's no surprise you didn't hear anything about it, this movie was AWFUL.

Korean pop sensation Rain, stars in the film as trained assassin Raizo. Adopted as an orphaned child, Raizo was initiated into the Ozunu Clan through his ninja training. After a falling out with his master, this young ninja embarks on a journey to free himself from the clan and rectify the mistakes of his past.

Although short on plot and acting, this movie had no shortage of unused talent. Most of the main characters have shown some serious acting ability in other films. Naomi Harris (Tia Dalma from POTC, and Selena from 28th Days Later) plays a dedicated detective and secondary love interest....badly. Aside from poor scripting, you'd think a girl used to warding off zombies would know how to look suitably terrified during a ninja attack.

Randall Duk Kim is no stranger to the stage and has done plenty of voice acting and supporting roles. Remember the key maker in the Matrix series? Yeah, that older Asian guy on the back of a motorcycle with Trinity...He's the bad guy! Slapping kids' feet and giving dire speeches over dinner, Duk Kim does a fair job of having a personality but falls short of any kind of depth. (but I can't be too mad...he played my favorite character in Disney's Kung Fu Panda!)

Anna Sawai, the beautiful female ninja, escapes my scathing remarks. Not because her acting was good, it was just as bad as the rest. (Cornier than corn.) This young actress is new to the silver screen and probably did it for fun. (Who wouldn't want to work with pop sensation Rain!) So I'll give her a pass and the benefit of the doubt. Good luck with your next film, Ms. Sawai!

Overall, Ninja Assassin has failed to meet my expectations. If you want to see an entertaining Kung Fu flik I suggest you check out something by the always amazing Jackie Chan. (Who Am I? Drunken Master and Rush Hour are all great choices.)

If blood is the payment for shame, Ninja Assassin is going to need a transfusion!

I rate it...a stick of gum!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

G-Force, GO! (Seriously...)

If you're in the mood for an action-packed, espionage featuring small rodents, G-Force is the movie to see!

Perfect for families this movie has a little bit of something for everyone.This Disney flick received a very warm welcome July 09, the latest in a series of somewhat experimental 3-D films, G-Force often feels like a theme park ride. With extended chase scenes and large explosions, viewers are sure to be entertained even if the 88 minutes of one-liners fall flat.

The movie follows the story of the leader of the team, Darwin (voiced by Sam Rockwell), as he struggles to prove the validity of using animals as FBI agents. Darwin is accompanied by a Hispanic guinea pig, Juarez (Penelope Cruz) and a painfully Black rodent, Blaster (Tracy Morgan). After having their funding pulled by the FBI, the team crawls their way to the top, facing every danger known to rodent kind, from pet stores to stray cats. There is little depth to the characters, as most of the screen-time is taken dumbing down an already simple plot for pint-sized audiences. But remember there will be explosions! (And a couple of chase scenes that are sure to tweak your interest)

There is of course, a neat Disney bow on the ending, with the mission's success and closure for each character.

I found G-Force vaguely reminiscent of Small Soldiers (1998) and The Mouse and the Motorcycle (1986). The CGI was pretty cool, the micro-technology was surprisingly believable, but the movie lacked the substance and heart of a true classic.

So, expect a few laughs, a guffaw or two, but don't get your hopes up.

And remember...

"We are the Commando Elite. Everything else is just a toy!" (Chip Hazard, Small Soldiers)